October 2011
“Its better to burn out than fade away.”
― Kurt Cobain
“I like people with depth, I like people with emotion, I like people with a strong mind, an interesting mind, a twisted mind, and also someone that can make me smile.”
—Abbey Lee Kershaw (via generichumans)
I’m finding myself in such a melancholic mood with no apparent reason. There are days like today where the weather is crisp, cool, and the sun shines so brilliantly on the autumn leaves but every fiber of my being feels like crap. I feel dreary knowing the same exact stuff is going to happen and I feel even worse knowing all the possible things I COULD be doing but I’m not. I love being at school. Taking classes, meeting people, even studying and learning new things are fun but being stuck on the same campus, going to the same buildings, doing things with the same people, eating the same foods; it’s all starting to feel almost like a mental prison. As if I have the choice to do whatever I want, but at the same time, I can’t. Part of me just wants to escape this winter and go travel somewhere I’ve never been to before. Another part of me wants to pull on some running shoes and just run somewhere far, miles and miles away. Everything is going relatively well. My midterms are over, my school semester issues are worked out, I have money, I’m healthy, rugby is fun, my friends, teammates, and family all love me, but I feel myself slip into a state of unhappiness and I’m not sure what I have to do to get out of it. What am I doing God, what are your plans for me?
Anything good you see in me is because of Jesus Christ.
“I want to be alone and I want people to notice me — both at the same time.”
—Thom Yorke (via roger—waters)
“I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.”
—Marilyn Monroe (via beautyisanillusion)
“Who has never killed an hour? Not casually or without thought, but carefully: a premeditated murder of minutes. The violence comes from a combination of giving up, not caring, and a resignation that getting past it is all you can hope to accomplish. So you kill the hour. You do not work, you do not read, you do not daydream. If you sleep it is not because you need to sleep. And when at last it is over, there is no evidence: no weapon, no blood, and no body. The only clue might be the shadows beneath your eyes or a terribly thin line near the corner of your mouth indicating something has been suffered, that in the privacy of your life you have lost something and the loss is too empty to share.”
—Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves (via nitors)
